Saturday night

I do not know which is better,to have my mind buzzing with thoughts or feeling empty like this.
Or was I just bored? Oh well,I cannot differentiate.

身心疲倦

Recently I'm addicted to this song,perhaps because of the show,I could relate to the song.
Perhaps the lyrics, I could link it to my own personal experience.

一眼之念，
一念执着
注定就此飞蛾扑火
明知是祸为何还不知所措

最好不见最好不念
如此才可不与你相恋
多一步的擦肩
就步步沦陷

是时间的“过错”
让我们只能“错过”
我多想念 你多遥远

早知道是苦果
这一刻也不想逃脱
"可惜"这字眼太刺眼
两个世界 之后
只好 情深 缘浅

是时间的"过错"
我们只能"错过"
我有多么想念 你有多遥远

早知道结局是不能抗拒的错
停留在这一刻
不想逃脱

Every single time the bold parts play,I don't know why my heart will somehow literally hurts.Reminds me of someone.

Somehow this show keeps me alive in one way or another,I like living in the show,LOL.

难过时，没地方哭没关系
最糟糕的是
明明已经很累 、很厌倦
还必须装出一副很开心，没问题的样子
我付出的够多吗？
有用吗？
这样付出，就代表一定会成功，快乐吗？
是我的想法太幼稚，太复杂吗？
有时候想找个人，大吐心事都难
Because people judge.
即使能聆听，你能确保他们不会在用其他的目光再看你吗？
朋友，没时间，没时间，没时间。
And sometimes I wonder if I'm too clingy.
感觉上，有没有我都一样。
今天上CCA的时候
感到无比的空虚
想念2010年的大家。

我身心疲倦
这个演出
我不懂何时才能收手

Hi it's 12.02am,friday.

Perfect

I don't know what's with my smile recently.Whenever I take a photo it will just go super awkward,check out my eyebrows. So,it was chinese new year celebration yesterday at my school.At first I was extremely worried about the play,cause even till the last day,everything was still shitty. People forgetting their lines,not portraying enough emotions,not having enough voice projection and giving fucked up attitudes.

But thank god JinKheng came and gave us last mintute polishing before the entire thing started! The play went well in the end although the music screwed up. Like always. I can hear my class screaming my name<3 Damn touched to the extend I was SMILING on stage. LOLOLOL
Plus the audience cheered when the climax came,the part where I scolded Nick.Last stage performance in AISS, I will miss the stage and the feeling of performing a lot.

After the chinese new year celebration, I went to Seoul Garden with JianXing,JiaYing,YunXuan,Yangming and Heidi.It costed around $16.45. Personally I didn't really eat much as the food there isn't really to my liking and it somehow lacked variety. I had 2 rounds of desserts though. :)

We were to first to arrived and one of the last to leave. LOL!!



And I watched this movie yesterday at 6.30pm. Me and JiaYing wanted a better seat so we decided to catch the later timing one. I must say this is one of the best movies I had ever watched,the little kid was just so adorable.And I teared at some parts as well. Mind you,it's not easy to have me crying at shows.But during a certain part,the scene just literally pulled my heartstrings and I couldn't stop my tears and I asked NJY for tissue. LOL.

I love going out at night. Love the feeling IDK why.

I had so much things to talk about but I'm lazy to blog anymore and I think I shall go do my homework. Watched 步步惊心 episode 5 today, I think I am addicted to the show.

Predators and preys

Right now I'm really pissed off with my fucking asshole brother.
He removed the guest account(mine) on the laptop and I woke both him and my mum up because I wanted to use the laptop.
Yes,it is ''his'' by right. But my parents said I can use it too.
He's not happy with me,he lock the guest account,
who the fuck does he think he is? Challenging me?
Please,I'm older than you.
Your childish mentality will get you nowhere in life.
Yes,you may be smarter than me,you may have got into a prestigious school,but given your shitty attitude,i highly doubt you can survive secondary school.
You're so fucking stingy also seriously.Yes,it is a virtue to be thrifty but seriously if you are going to manage your finance this way,place so much emphasis on money,you're going to suffer in life.

Gosh,I feel so PISSED OFF.

All the predators are eyeing the prey.It's their chance to either make it or break it.It has the feeling of displeasure when a similar predator joined their cliques of predators.Yes,it felt threatened by that predator.They are too similar,whether in terms of mentality or physically.Their flaws unite,their strengths blended.That's how similar they are.It wanted to be the best,it regretted not lying.But how could it? The other predator was its buddy.Another predator who know it for years seek help from it but in order to be the best,you have to eliminate other predators.It decided to sabotage,it has no choice. Even though guilt filled it,it has no choice.In order to survive,it has to do all that.

I'm so proud of myself.I survived this week.
CCA everyday except Thursday and it was a late day and I have tuition at night.
But surprisingly,I enjoyed tuition that day as it was productive and had bits and pieces of funny parts.

You know,if you were to ask me to hide my feelings,that's like asking me not to be Zhi Ling.
I'm not afraid to show who I am. If I were to perceived as a weak and emotional and vulnerable girl,the kind that shatters into a million pieces with a single touch,then so be it.Because this is me,this is who I am.It's okay if other people judges me,because you'll always get judged for the things you do in life anyway.

Screwed up English test and I'm not proud of it.

And 2012 so far has proven me,I am stronger than who you think I am.

Define satisfaction

This


I was confident of doing well in all the papers except oral and I thought I really screwed it up. It's really unexpected.I can really feel the tension and fear of the seniors at that moment. When Mr Chin read out some of the names to honor the pupils and when I saw the happiness on their face,it's really a kind of indescribable feeling.TOP PUPIL KOH JIN KHENG!!! So proud of him can, I literally clapped like some mad woman.


And I requested to see his result slip, ALL AS!!! I think he study 1 year get all As,I need study for 5 years then can get this kind of results lor.

Hopefully this will make me more motivated to study!! I love my A1. :)

Oh,and congratulations to LiYing and Syafiqah for getting A1s too! <3

Need to work hard for maths-es and sciences. Cannot fail so badly like last year.I see the f9 until scared already.

SO LOW ZHI LING,if you want to improve,you better take action instead of just empty words.
MUST HONOR YOUR WORDS!!!!!!!

Look at my sullen face and you'll know how sec 4 life is.
So many tests coming up and everyday is so mentally draining.
I still have to prepare for chinese new year play.Sigh.
But ehehehehe my own production hehehehehehehhe wahahahhaha.
Thursdays tuition are gonna suck because school is gonna end at 3.20pm and i'll be fucking tired.
Gonna stay back EVERYDAY next week cos of talent id. ._. mehhh.



He took my handphone away from me. He asked me one question, '' what are you going to do if I don't return it to you?'' Before I could utter a word,he continued speaking,'' first you would try to snatch it back,right? If I still refuse to return it, you'll probably tell your teacher or principal. If I'm stubborn and still refuse to do so,you'll go to MOE or even the police. You know how to protect your handphone,objects you can see,but you can't protect your mind.You keep allowing negativity to eat it up.''

How true.

有时候，心里会莫名的难受，却不知道为了什么。有时候，同周围的人说说笑笑，却觉得异常寂寞和孤独。有时候，静静的看着窗外，会觉得自己是个很容易被遗忘的人。有时候，冷眼看着身边的人吵吵闹闹。有时候，觉得这个世界真的很假、很虚伪。有时候，真想就这样从这个世界上消失。

I always blog about the first day of school so here I am.
I'm now secondary four! 2012 now,oh god.
I'm still short,so yeah,makes no difference if you put me beside a secondary one.:(
Flower speech was boring as usual and we were made to sing the national anthem twice. ._.
Aiss seems to become more strict.
We no longer get to wear predominantly white shoes,must be all white.
Only can wear our predominantly white shoes till June. After that in term 3 onwards,must change to all white.
Every period is now 35 minutes instead of 40 minutes which is good news for me! But our recess is now 10.40am instead of 10.20am.. And recess time is extended wee~~ 30 minutes and 5 mintues to go back to class.

BUT

THE SAD NEWS IS OUR DISMISSAL TIME ON THURSDAYS IS 3.20PM! D:


Lunch will be from 1.35pm to 2.10pm and then there's 2 more periods which end at 3.20pm.This sucks seriously,cause I have tuition from 7pm-10pm.Which means that I will be screwed if they decided to have any SRPs on Thursdays.And let's say I get home around 3.40pm and bathe all that by 4pm.Then spend time to do my homework and revise till 6pm.Then eat dinner then go for tuition. All the way till 10pm.


I no need to rest on Thursdays le. Which meant I will spend my entire day STUDYING!! OMFG T.T


My no life 的 life is going to start soon.Today I went for lunch with Shahira,I'm so damn full now. Suppose to do my undone holiday assignment but I don't have the mood. :(

And yeah,my English teacher is NOT Ms Zuraida,it's Mr Kumar instead.I got a good impression of him because he was mentioned before during assembly LOL. And Chemistry teacher is still GARY LEE,not Mdm Azlin, YES!!!!!! Emaths teacher change to Fredrick Yong but never mind lah,I heard that he's good in teaching emaths. Amaths teacher is still aw but I will rely on tuition teacher and friends instead.

Ps. Mr Chin is leaving with my batch I think. Got new botak principal.


I am insignificant I suppose.
Loneliness.My life is going to be DEAD SLOW PLEASE .

“Cold sinks in, there to stay. And people, they’ll leave you, sure. There’s no return to what was and no way back. There’s just emptiness all around, and you in it, like singing up from the bottom of a well, like nothing else, until you harm yourself, until you are a mad dog biting yourself for sympathy. ''