Life after Os

Life in a nutshell after Os

Shopping... shopping and more shopping

And I highlighted my hair on 9 nov

Left side with instagram filter so not that true to my current hair colour.
Right side is nearer to my current hair colour.

Outings with Syafiqah and Heidi and Jiawen and Saif etc etc.

What I wore when I went out with Saif and Syafiqah for prom shopping

LOL photoshoot with Syafiqah. Love the background and my long dress.

LOL I was so embarrassed when my senior JJ smsed me and he asked,'' whats with that flowers on your head?'' I told him it can grow pineapple LOL. And during drama camp,Vaithesis said she saw me with flowers in my head as well. LOL..

Someday I forgot when at Heidi's condo. Chatted in hot spa. Very shiok.

Drama camp with only 2 hours of sleep. #likeaboss

And then there's prom...

Jianxing says I look bogeh in this picture... Say so much sponser me braces lah!
Oh this is a visit to a farm and i had fun feeding goats even though its a little scary. I also fed parrots and guinea pigs!!! They are like some hungry ghosts hahaha. But very cute!

HAHAHHA RETARDISM AT ITS BEST Look at my eyes!!

 

At chalet yesterday. It was great and the girls from Anderson and YTSS are really friendly. I only reached there around 6pm as I had some job contract thing to settle and I was like a hungry ghost. Keep eating and eating like cannot stop sia.Got group photo but Mr gan haven't upload yet!

 Me working a few days ago as popcorn giver + give out flyer + pump balloons. With Adrain( the one i can talk a lot to), caroline( my supervisor, she's super nice!) and Mervyn( my first partner of the day)  .

Heading for Taiwan tomorrow,shall update when i get back.

Things had not been easy for the past 2 years and the older I grew,the harder I find it to spill out my inner thoughts through social networking sites or blogging. Words do not spill out as easily as I thought it would be,inspiration disappeared .

Life after Os,I can only say I genuinely enjoy a few days ago. The rest were spent distracting myself.

Usual question people like to ask: '' How was Os?''

My reply? Okay lah.

If you want the truth,I dare not face reality. I tell myself its over,no point thinking about it. I know its not the best I had done and neither did I put in my best effort throughout the months.

I dare not throw away uniforms.I dare not throw away books. And I'm mentally prepared to repeat O levels,thats how bad it was.

What can I do? I can't rewind time,can I?

Highlighted my hair,ditched ''Zhi Ling'' in secondary school. I like it. I hated me in secondary school,I really do. Insecure and always feeling like an outcast.

Undeniably,I hate my class. Yes,I'm using the word hate. I'm fine with people as a whole but the class in general,I hate it. I even told some of my classmates about this and I'm not even afraid of how people would judge me.

'' wah this zhi ling hate 4e2,she think she very likable meh???''
That's the truth.Like it or not,that's my perspective of my class. Unmotivated and always making excuses for their own laziness. Perhaps its wrong of me to label the class in general but thats how I felt. I couldn't wait to get out of the class. I hate how fake my class is at times. Pretending to be nice in front of each other and then backstabbing each other.

Friends,I dare not have many upon realising many things. The human mind is a complicated one and trust,its broken within moments. Even the one closest to you might be plotting against you,you never know.

Maybe an isolation policy would be good for me. Isolate myself from everyone.

I missed you so badly. That 1 minute of gesture might just turn out to be etched deep in my heart,for years and years. It's wrong of me to feel this way,but the urge to tell you,that I really missed you comes back to me. But I don't have the right to ruin your happiness. Why am I always so selfish?