As I went for a walk on the hilltop today, I wondered if anyone else in this universe is feeling the same as me,lost in reality.How many people can truly say that they had lived their life with passion and happiness?

When I was young, I used to think that life is about studying hard,getting good grades and finding a job with enough salary to support my family and then forming my own family,with my own kids. This has always been my mentality till this year. I began to get confused. I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore. I want a life whereby I can say it's a well worth life that's worth looking back on. I want a life that is dangerously amazing,so amazing that it can be made into a movie.

I am weird,aren't I? I'm not supposed to think about all these,supposed to focus on studying and getting good grades for O levels. But then.. I'm not going to be lying down in my coffin thinking, omg I scored 7 A1s for my o levels,I have no regrets in my life.

I'm not going to do that.

I want to learn guitar and piano,maybe post some covers on Youtube if I'm good enough.I want to travel to countries and take photos of beautiful scenery.I want to perform on a stage, with millions of audience applauding for me. I want to eat awesome food and write reviews on them. I want do do photoshoots in exotic places.

I am just a hopeless romantic dreamer I suppose.

Dreams, do they really come true? 

Been feeling better as compared to how i felt several days ago. Currently blogging on my bed using my iPod. Now I'm only left with blocked nose. Luckily, I took my o levels for mt last year. Really don't know what I will do if I am taking my o levels tomorrow in this kind of state.

Been thinking a lot recently. Because all I could do is eat and sleep. Like a pig.

okay i was too lazy to blog so i'm continuing today.

I wished i had a simple brain
then i wouldn't overthink
and make myself miserable.

I made the right decision yesterday night.
When I clicked on the send button, my mind just went blank
I had no idea what I was doing, for a moment I did regret
 But I slept with ease now at least

No more ache whenever I'm sleeping
No more heavy feeling
No more , no more.

Wasn't feeling well since yesterday. Extremely giddy and sore throat.

So I went to bed at 8plus. In 5plus in the morning,I went to the toilet. I sat down on the toilet bowl and suddenly I couldn't stand up again. I can't see anything at all. Everything was pitch black. I closed my eyes and opened it again. Still pitch black. I screamed for my mum, '' MAMA MAMA'' She came in and I started crying. I told her I couldn't see anything at all. I swear I was really fucking scared. This has never ever happened to me at all. 

My spine started hurting like mad and my dad helped me apply some medicine. Then they started talking about my diet and how weak my body is..

what a horrid experience. I never want to experience it again. Doctor says it happened because the blood cannot be circulated into my brain.

:(

"我知道所有人的结局，却唯独不知道自己的结局，以前一直是旁观者的角度 看着个人走向他们的结局，如今自己也被拖进了这幕戏中，将来我该何去何从."

其实我并不想上大学
你会惊讶吗？
I still can't figure out what I truly have passion for.
I don't envy people with achievements at all.
I envy people who know where they want to go in life and have to courage to pursue their dreams.
Most of my classmates got 20++ for L1R4 and some of them were like, '' wah 15.. so good.''
I'm one of the minority who got okay results
表面上看的风光
他们应该不知到背后的努力，痛苦，心酸
这几个月我付出太多太多了
我很累
很累
很累
很累
很累
很累
很累
很累
很累
很累
很累


很累           
 

Outing with drama peeps. Rest of the photos with Shahira and Toni.

Tonight my thoughts revolve around selfishness.
I really do not understand why some people can be selfish and yet so self righteous about it
What is the point of insisting you are right and pushing all the wrongs on other people? Have you reflected on yourself?
Your stubborn immature mindset will prevent you from getting true happiness.



Y U SO ADORABLE. :> Forever so cute hohohoohohohohoh. can't help smiling at your epicness.

Recently all people do is to let me down. Raise my hopes up an then smash it straight in my face.

Sick of it. Perhaps I'm just an insignificant little dot huh?


I feel like none of you understand me at all.

So just let me fucking drown in my solitude.

Aiya ZhiLing mah, forever like that one.

Everyone should just fuck off from my life and leave me alone.