Forcing laughter,faking smiles,same old tired lonely place.

I don't like it when people see me and I am in my upset state.
That's why I would rather choose to rant it out in other ways.
Be it blogging,tweeting or tumblr-ing.


I am supposed to feel super upset with my IPOD TOUCH.
I only had it for 2 weeks.
Two weeks.
Sigh,but what to do?What can I do beside waiting for the police to update me about it?
Crying,I have already done that in class.
Just hopes karma hits that guy hard.

I am asking myself why my mouth is so big now.
Caused so many people to be D:
ZhiLing,you're fucking dumb.
Really.

I can't stand being alone recently,it makes me afraid.
It makes me think too much about things which I am not suppose to think.
Everyday I go to class,numb.
I'm smiling,I'm laughing.
Truth is I can't even concentrate.
I watch the teacher talk,I do the things I am supposed to do
but I don't even know what I am doing.
Friends,they drift.
People always drift in and out of your life,don't they?

Nothing is permanent;or stays forever.
Kept telling myself never mind,smile,2011 is over soon.
soon.
Has been 2 months and I am,here.


In the middle of nowhere.

I don't tell you things anymore,not because I don't want you to worry,its because I am scared you wouldn't worry.

I miss you,

My ipod touch got stolen together with $20.



Dear thief,
I hope you get kick in the balls and your dick shrinks and you rot in hell.
Suspension isn't even enough to punish you.
The emotional trauma you caused me...
I WILL NEVER FORGET.
BASTARD.


No love,
Zhi Ling



Dear Ipod touch,
I hope you are doing fine!! I miss you like mad.Sorry that my neglection has caused you this suffering..To be in the hands of some son of a bitch.:(
Forever and always loving you,
ZhiLing


I hope I get you back SOON.

Never assume.

Drama was fun today.Played truth or dare.Monday was okay.It's the last week of Feb ♥原来，从头到尾你都是把我当好朋友一样的喜欢，我接受的那份美好，也是一场误会的喜欢，我想越多只是让自己越无地自容，所有对你的好都像是自己编造的诗句，可不可以让这一切不要这么累？

Let nature takes its own course.

Went to Northpoint with NJY for a belated Valentine's Day celebration.. Bought a ''certificate'' for Eryu's birthday hahahaah. Gonna make a hand-made certificate for his birthday hahaha. I printed a photo but my face ain't nice in that photo lor.SIAN.

Plus I did something damn stupid,the certificate crumpled and then I went back to popular again and exchanged it for a brand new piece SECRETLY. I hope the CCTV never catch me HAHAHA. Camwhoring in the disabled toliet HAHA.
Her cropped shirt matches my wallet WOW.
Bei wo tou pai le!!Shall end this post with my face.I don't understand why some girls,every single post will have their zilian photo .You not sick of your own face meh,after staring at it everyday for the past fourteen/fifteen/sixteen years. Unless you are good at photoshop like xiaxue,can make yourself look super good for people to admire lah,then I won't mind.Or else its just plain disgusting lor.

Actually my main purpose of this photo,is to tell you guys that my BANGS HAS GROWN LONGER AGAIN. It's damn irritating can.Every month need go cut. UGHHHHH.
After the very very very very long talk with Eryu,I guess I must know what I want before continue-ing another step.. Yesterday I didn't ask after that reply to my text message cause I know exactly what you mean.

Maybe staying on like this would be the best.None of us would get hurt.

Thank god its Friday.

Took this on the way to Sungei Buloh yesterday.It made me realise how beautiful life can be.


Anyway,the trip was really SUPER BORING and I learnt nothing truthfully speaking.I was daydreaming and talking crap with Heidi.And non-stop eating all the way.NYOM NYOM NYOM. After that went to MeiMei's drink station with YunXuan and we ordered....Prata cheese wrap and bubble tea!!! I have never tried prata cheese wrap but the way the auntie described it sounded so mad yummy ,i can't help but order it.AND HOLY FUCKK,IT TASTE SO HEAVENLY!! But my milktea is not really nice cause the uncle put too much tea :( We ate and chatted about anything under the sun.. Reminisced about our times in 2e3 again.KahLong's singing,the Malay boys' protesting,and the retards' gambling.I miss them all.Even though 3e2 still continues the tradition of eating,gambling but the feeling isn't there,something is just wrong.I love days like this,when we just chat without a worry,so carefree.好幸福！！We chatted till we forgot about the time,went home around 7.30pm.Gosipping is my passion:D

Was happy till I saw some stuff.Words can break people into million of pieces and my heart sank.Slept at 1am.Not a very good night.Thought about a lot of things and was trying to study Chemistry.

Today was considered a good day.JJ kept making me laugh.. But this senior of mine is very dumb at times,I feel sad for him and I don't know why.CCA tee was given out today.. Amirul skipped recess to help me with Chemistry. I feel damn guilty that last time in 2e3 and 1e3,I looked down on him because of some reasons.

Maybe as time goes by,you begin to change and your thinking matures.The things you once thought are important are now longer that important.You realize people come and go,you realise is not about having many friends,its about who's there for you till the end.It's about who pull you up when you fall,who gave you something to hold on when things go wrong. It doesn't matter how often you talk to each other at all. Blessed to have a friend like YX in my life.







I am tired of playing this game,I am smiling and laughing today but deep down I'm crashing so badly.

Thoughts.

Been thinking a lot lately.I shall take things one step at a time.Maybe its for the best.Dragging ain't good.
I feel tired.I want a place to rest.And then I feel that life is wonderful at the beach just like the person above.

Need to make a decision.

Received this from Lucinda:) So awesome of her.
From LaoChou! I borrowed $! from her and she text me back saying it was V'Days gift.Treat it as that LOL.

Lunched with her today,simple simple things like that make me mad happy.
The 30 mins wait was worth it(:
I think I did very badly for my Higher Chinese test today.
When I signed the list for the O level thing, what I felt was dread and fear.
Tomorrow got indices test,wish me luck!!

I can't finish my dinner.ughhhh.

Valentine's Day 2011

Today was a pretty awesome day I guess,woke up and sent text messages to my friends wishing them Happy Valentine's Day and received quite a number back.Bus-ed with Jiawen to school.

Amaths was pure torture today as I wasn't in the mood today to study and Mr Aw taught a new chapter and I cannot really concentrate and I don't understand what he is teaching.History was alright I guess.Chemistry,I can actually understand LOL. SO PROUD OF MYSELF.ICT was boring except for the fact I can update my twitter and check facebook.English turns out to be interesting today,can you believe it???? Cause the topic was love and Valentine's Day haha,and the homework also related to that.Higher chinese was talking about the addiction youngsters now have to facebook,I am guilty LOL BUT I HAVE ALREADY BEEN CUTTING DOWN!

Okay summary= Good Day :D

And I received some cards/letters/chocolates from my friends.So nice of them,to make an effort to give me something!!! :DChocolate bars for Jiawen and Puaylin,the three packets for Heidi,Yunxuan and Jiaying individually..Letters to the above people.The one with the HAPPY ELEPHANT for Puaylin.What I received today!! <3NYOM NYOM NYOM , I can't bear to eat it!Letter & cookie from Heidi.So sweet of her.She's the first who gave me you know!From Jiawen,my very very very very irritating friend with irritating laughter.HAHA just kidding,I love her irritating-ness a lot. M&Ms with postcard.Letter with chocolate from wifeeee. NEOPUAYLIN,ILY!From Sonia,I feel so paiseh,I give her one ugly post-it sia ==From Suzanne(:From Hariz,HAHAH,my post-it okay!! Then he very random go take pen and start drawing and stick on my table.From Jazz!! Damn unexpected okay.. Cause I'm not that close with her. :Dfrom Wong. (:My dinner today also very AWESOME CAN. So YUMMMMEH. My favourite lotus soup with curry chicken and I forgot whats that dish beside it called but it tastes fabulous all the same.


It has been a very very very very very long time since I updated a post like this with decent phots and long chunks of words!I appreciate all the little things you guys do for me,feel happy and touched not because of the presents but because you guys actually thought of me OMG.

HAHAHA. Lucinda just texted me saying that she will give me chocolate,what have I done to deserve such nice friends??? HAHAHA.

Going out with NJY on Saturday as she has CCA tmr:( Dance ruined our plans UGHHH.

I LOVE YA ALL,NIGHTS.<3>

不是不想爱，而是不敢爱

Brain vs heart.

My brain says no but my heart..

Then don't fall in love with them.






Was all that hints?
If it really is,I am still gonna pretend I don't know.
Plain afraid of getting hurt.

Tangled Affair

My mind is a tangled affair.
Like bundled of strings mixing up;I don't know how to feel,what to feel.
How come they didn't teach love as a subject in school?
That's my goal.I keep failing everyday though.. It's tiring to keep on a smile,when you're so tired of life.


I thought I left my homework file in school today and I searched it under my table but It can't be found.And when I called home this afternoon,my mum told me it was at my computer table.Wow,ZhiLing,you have such a good memory.I'm so amazed.

There's this friend of mine,I don't know whether he is stupid or noble,he dd not many things for that person he likes,yet the person treats him like WTF (I don't know how to explain but oh well),I already told him this before,either you go for it,or completely give up,dragging it on and on ain't gonna do you good.


I feel a tinsy weensy bit happy today.. I focused during lessons!! :D
Hope this can goes on.

Things to do tomorrow;
-Tuition
-School homework
-Valentine Day's celebration with NEOPUAYLIN (:

''You want people to hold your hand for what?Hold your own hand lah!!!'' -Miss Ong

HAHAHAHA she so cool can. Really glad she's my social studies teacher this year :D
I need something to look forward to..

I don't feel like sleeping.
Don't feel like going for CCA tomorrow.
Don't feel like studying.I always lose focus and get distracted.

There's nothing much for me to look forward to.
When did I become like that?
Zhi Ling,I miss you.
Come back please.
I don't even know myself anymore.


Cause I can't slip put of pain.

I'm back to blogging,I kind of miss ranting out in one whole chunk words.

I nearly fell asleep during HMT today,my eyelids kept fluttering and it felt so heavy.I closed my eyes for seconds and opened them again.And close them AGAIN.And open it again. Wow.And then guess what?My neck feels heavy too and it starts to drop and I nearly knock my head against the table.

POA was awesome.So far its the only subject that I don't really have to struggle..I hope I got a good grade for my history test,I skipped recess today for it.

Emaths was really tiring today and everyone wasn't in the mood to study.Mr Lim caught me ''stuck'' in a question,AIYOYO,and taught me that.Truth is I got distracted.

Potato chips finished today,:(
Mathan ate finish his and I don't know who brought them,I really need food to stay awake.
Luckily got Heidi's sweets and Jiawen's sour plum.

Why am I getting distracted so easily recently?
Is it because of you?I'm just plain afraid to fall again.In case I got hurt like last year.
I need to thank Mr jerk. honestly hurting me last year.
You know what?Now I have a phobia,I don't even dare to trust anyone because of you.
Today when I see you,I just walked to my bustop quickly.I have no intention of looking at your face,everytime I do,it reminds me of how foolish I was back then.

Problems piling up.