Ugh I love her hat. I want one of these fats!!! I mean hats. LOL. GAHHH I LOVE THIS LOOK I SWEAR.

I tried to contain my feelings on Bus 39 that day but to no avail,that phone call was the last straw and I felt tears coming,and I begin to cry my way from Pasir Ris to Yishun. Maybe I was just feeling extremely tired and moody after that long day. Bangala workers kept staring at me,and the more I cried, the weirder I feel as they kept giving me those looks.

It was a pretty horrid day that day. I felt so desperate,so helpless.I never felt more vulnerable in my entire life before.

dotdot sensed something was wrong and called me that night to check up on me. Maybe he was worried,maybe only caring out of courtesy.

Prelims starting tomorrow. Dread,uncertainty and I'm really weary of this journey. Tuition and homework,what more could my life be? I wish I was one of those people who would actually miss their class. But right now,I need to work hard to get out of this dumping ground.

I'll go back in time and  change it but I can't.

Love this outfit. Hope to get myself a similar hat someday. I miss photo shoots. :(
Been sick recently. I feel so useless. sigh.

Racial harmony day. Last one in AISS.

I need to wake up and study and do this shit.Need to stop napping so much.

WAKE UP WAKE UP !!!

You will only know something's worth when you lost it.

worth.

I need to believe in myself and stop putting myself down so much everyday.It's unhealthy.
I need to stop blaming myself for things that happened long ago.I need to stop harping on my own flaws.

But the thing is,somewhere along the line last year,i lost the ability to love myself.

Bet you have no idea how disgusted i feel to be me at times.

I have always being blatant with my feelings,showing it either through my words or actions.I do not like concealing my emotions,be it negative or positive. Today we had our usual session at Ah mei's drink station near our house and she analyzed personalities again.

难到你就没发现到吗？她就像一个坚强的小草，样子看起来不怎么有起色，可是她有自己的生存之道。

 It more or less reminds me when I was Primary four, I had this really fierce Chinese teacher who's kinda fat. Yeah I sound mean but she is. It's the truth. I detested her so much to the extent I called her '' Xishan 猪'' which means The Pig of Xishan in English. I'm from Xishan primary school by the way. On Children's day, she gave us each an A4 size laminated card she personalized on her own. On the card were cartoons and a message catered according to our personalities. It has a quote on it but I can't really remember what,except that it mentioned about a plant surviving because it knows how to adjust according to the situation but another plant breaking because it refuses to change.Something about being more happy if you know how to change and adjust to the situation. Changing your thinking.

I guess one of my flaws all these years since young is that I'm rigid with my thinking. I like to insist I'm right and I like people to think I'm right.I justify a lot on when I'm right,I defend myself with excuses,reasons.That's why throughout these years,the reasons why I'm unhappy are more or less the same.

But those unhappiness make me learn lessons though. I used to whine,complain about it instead of simplifying it. Solving it.


This song somehow is a great comfort at times.

Was a pretty great Sunday I suppose. Was suppose to met up with Vetina at 1230 but I was like for 20 minutes because 804 was taking such a long time. Spent some time at Kiddy Palace before deciding on a gift which looks reasonably priced and it looks ''big'' enough. HAHA.

We then waited for the SSC bus and its taking a super long time to arrive. When it arrived,it was packed to the brim and we have no choice but to take public bus to SSC. Me and my bad luck with buses. -______-

We then headed to Daiso and she bought her photo frames. 10 of it to be exact. Then I bought my corkboard and pins. I wanted to get some earrings from Cotton On at first but it turned out.. there was no more cotton on at SSC due to the renovation.. What is this?! Northpoint didn't sell the kind I wanted too. :(

We had some Takoyaki for ''lunch'' and I bought myself gongcha green tea. Took public bus to Yishun interchange and took 804. Alighted at the wrong bus stop and we walked. -.-''

It was kinda awkward at first and we kept on instagram-ing our food. I really hope when I change my phone next year,I can get an iphone! Really love taking photos HAHA.

Oh,recently I learnt how judgemental and how much of a hypocrite some people can get.What is the point of continously picking on other people's flaws? It's really so irritating.

Goodnight people. I'm still hoping life would get better,I would be a happier person,and hoping to find myself. :)