Birthday Surprises

So we had a surprise birthday ''picnic'' for Vetina on 17th December.

It was really epic as we were not allowed to have birthday celebrations at Bottle Tree park and when Syafiqah and I finally set up the balloons,a guy cycled over and tell us '' sorry guys,you guys aren't allowed to have birthday celebrations here.''

I was like WTF because we had a really tough time setting up the balloons and we have to drag Syafiqah's tripod,the food and balloons a long way to another place and by the time we finished dragging everything,Vetina and Liying already reached.

But luckily Syafiqah was smart enough to say that it was for Saif. Saif was suppose to meet us to prepare everything but he overslept. So Vetina prepared for her own birthday surprise..

Despite us getting scolded a few times,it was really a great gathering. I'm really lazy to elaborate on the details.

Here's the drinks and snacks we had. I prepared them okay. HAHA. Sprite and green tea. Nutella bread with peanut butter contributed by LiYing. Twisties and Sour Onion potato chips! :) 

Can't wait to see these people again on Jan 4th! It's wonderful how we still keep in touch despite graduating 4 years ago!

I met up with my CCA mates yesterday for dinner as well.

I ordered Grilled Dory Lite with coke. I had such great photography skills to the extent that  the focus is on the god damn broccoli ...... I should have ordered the regular because the lite meal was so little and I had to order an extra serving of cheese fries. We had our dinner at Manhattan Fish by the way.

I had no idea why we are smiling so awkwardly HAHAHAHHA.

This was one of the photos I really like as ........ you can see my eyes under the flash. Normally I will squint,I can't help it!! :( I look so sophisticated in this photo! HHAHA I'm like so auntie in real life actually.

Check out Farah's humongous eyes. We went camwhoring near the civic centre after dinner and it was really funny as my eyes couldn't open!!!

I really have no idea why she can look so good while I look like...

 

THIS.

 

At least I tried my best, didn't I? I ought to have the good progress award or something HAHAHA.

LOL actually we had this ''operation JinKheng'' just like ''operation Vetina'' but our surprise always failed every year because we always had conflicting schedules. JinKheng is holding a candle in his hand. LOL he thought it was a cake and almost ate it. HAHAHHA he was really dumbstruck by the photo.

JinKheng imitating himself HAHAHHA it's damn funny I swear.

And this is a group shot. I'm so glad my eyes are looking good in this photo HAHA.

On the way home,I farted damn loudly in the mrt. I tried to shift seats but I accidentally farted and JinKheng and Raj heard it so I exclaimed,'' oh shit i farted.'' I was damn embarrassed so I squirmed in my seat and covered my face with my hands and laughed uncontrollably. I feel like the entire cabin is judging me or something oh god.

Tomorrow will be my first day of work and I hope I don't get lost and my supervisor and colleagues are nice people. I love my cca mates and primary school friends heheheeheh and I hope we remain in contact even when we are working adults. I shall watch my drama now. BYE.

I appreciate people who make time for me. :)

Take me back ..

Just a photograph I took in Taiwan. Hadn't really finish editing the entire set of photos so I did not upload them yet.


And as memories became fragments just like puzzle pieces,we tried to piece them together.
If you want the friendship,you would have made the fucking effort but you didn't. It's okay I lost so many friends,I'm immune to it anyway.

Life after Os

Life in a nutshell after Os

Shopping... shopping and more shopping

And I highlighted my hair on 9 nov

Left side with instagram filter so not that true to my current hair colour.
Right side is nearer to my current hair colour.

Outings with Syafiqah and Heidi and Jiawen and Saif etc etc.

What I wore when I went out with Saif and Syafiqah for prom shopping

LOL photoshoot with Syafiqah. Love the background and my long dress.

LOL I was so embarrassed when my senior JJ smsed me and he asked,'' whats with that flowers on your head?'' I told him it can grow pineapple LOL. And during drama camp,Vaithesis said she saw me with flowers in my head as well. LOL..

Someday I forgot when at Heidi's condo. Chatted in hot spa. Very shiok.

Drama camp with only 2 hours of sleep. #likeaboss

And then there's prom...

Jianxing says I look bogeh in this picture... Say so much sponser me braces lah!
Oh this is a visit to a farm and i had fun feeding goats even though its a little scary. I also fed parrots and guinea pigs!!! They are like some hungry ghosts hahaha. But very cute!

HAHAHHA RETARDISM AT ITS BEST Look at my eyes!!

 

At chalet yesterday. It was great and the girls from Anderson and YTSS are really friendly. I only reached there around 6pm as I had some job contract thing to settle and I was like a hungry ghost. Keep eating and eating like cannot stop sia.Got group photo but Mr gan haven't upload yet!

 Me working a few days ago as popcorn giver + give out flyer + pump balloons. With Adrain( the one i can talk a lot to), caroline( my supervisor, she's super nice!) and Mervyn( my first partner of the day)  .

Heading for Taiwan tomorrow,shall update when i get back.

Things had not been easy for the past 2 years and the older I grew,the harder I find it to spill out my inner thoughts through social networking sites or blogging. Words do not spill out as easily as I thought it would be,inspiration disappeared .

Life after Os,I can only say I genuinely enjoy a few days ago. The rest were spent distracting myself.

Usual question people like to ask: '' How was Os?''

My reply? Okay lah.

If you want the truth,I dare not face reality. I tell myself its over,no point thinking about it. I know its not the best I had done and neither did I put in my best effort throughout the months.

I dare not throw away uniforms.I dare not throw away books. And I'm mentally prepared to repeat O levels,thats how bad it was.

What can I do? I can't rewind time,can I?

Highlighted my hair,ditched ''Zhi Ling'' in secondary school. I like it. I hated me in secondary school,I really do. Insecure and always feeling like an outcast.

Undeniably,I hate my class. Yes,I'm using the word hate. I'm fine with people as a whole but the class in general,I hate it. I even told some of my classmates about this and I'm not even afraid of how people would judge me.

'' wah this zhi ling hate 4e2,she think she very likable meh???''
That's the truth.Like it or not,that's my perspective of my class. Unmotivated and always making excuses for their own laziness. Perhaps its wrong of me to label the class in general but thats how I felt. I couldn't wait to get out of the class. I hate how fake my class is at times. Pretending to be nice in front of each other and then backstabbing each other.

Friends,I dare not have many upon realising many things. The human mind is a complicated one and trust,its broken within moments. Even the one closest to you might be plotting against you,you never know.

Maybe an isolation policy would be good for me. Isolate myself from everyone.

I missed you so badly. That 1 minute of gesture might just turn out to be etched deep in my heart,for years and years. It's wrong of me to feel this way,but the urge to tell you,that I really missed you comes back to me. But I don't have the right to ruin your happiness. Why am I always so selfish? 

Want to know something? It's how I often feel. 
Today I went to school for History Consultation and I really learn a lot.

Life lessons.

'' You know,our brain only have the capability to remember a certain amount of information.If I carry so much baggages and grudges,how am I going to remember all these information ( about history).''

''It's human nature. We like to hide the truth from ourselves,deceiving ourselves of what seems to be the truth.We want to hear what we like.''

I didn't forget about you. I can't seem to. On days when I'm busy,you're only a past. Someone whom I used to talk to everyday. On nights when loneliness filled me,you're a ghost that haunt me and a certain part of me screams,''come back,come back.'' You're the first person I had so much intense feelings for. Guilt,it never lessens even though time passes.

I find my brain going back to those memories even though though it's a blurry mess and a vague puzzle pieces.

I sucked so much at expressing myself through words on my blog,I have no idea why.

Oh,someone totally broke my trust. Promised me something but broke the promise. What is the point of apologizing afterwards? How would it salvage the situation? TOTALLY BROKE MY TRUST. 

I'm actually quite scared that O levels will be over. I'm scared of facing the results,leaving my friends,stepping into a new place,adapting all over again.I'm scared of trusting people.Who will be worth it and who will not? 

There are times when I feel that I'm so lucky to be ZhiLing but most of the times,I just look down on myself,expand my flaws.

I am tougher to comprehend than an O level English comprehension.

16 more days to Os and I feel so unprepared.I hate this uncertainty that amasses in me as the dates draw closer and closer.I feel like I didn't really give it my all,I succumbed to my emotions and laziness a lot of times.

I used to be super confident in Humanities and doing alright in accounting but now I only feel fear as I discovered my disability to digest large chunks of information and I hadn't really been working hard in POA.

Horrible horrible results and time is running out.

And as time past,I realized I hate people in general. I lost faith in people. It's not like people are willing to sacrifice everything for you and put in effort even if you do the same. I used to give a lot of shit but now I don't. I gave up. What's most important is myself because ultimately,everyone is gonna leave and there's no point in maintaining friendships.

Friends come and go. I accept that. 2 more weeks and I'm out of the hellhole I always hated. I hate the people there,i hate everything about that place. I've been waiting for 1 year plus and.. it's coming. I can't wait.

How much longer can I run away? 有些事情迟早要面对。