Zimplicity;

I wanted to blog yesterday night but I couldn't find my USB cable.Yesterday I was freaking pissed with this teacher.So I was so pissed I started scolding vulgarities. I really hate it when someone judges you and looks at your results instead of the effort you put in. Like hello? I already tried my best,what more do you want me to do? Being in drama doesn't mean I can memorise things better.. We don't memorize scripts,we understand and improvise. It's just like Social Studies or History,you read,you memorise,you get the points correct and you get the marks.Further more,are those exact things going to be tested in o levels? No right? It's just a way to help us learn and hopefully we would implement it in our compositions. It's a fucking stupid method if you ask me,if you ask me to form sentences using the idioms,at least I can fucking understand the rationale behind it.Memorise?Are you fucking kidding me? It's not even useful if you don't understand the meaning. zzz. Oh and you tore away my corrections,you made me lose all respect for you. * More profanities inserted*

And of course,tuition was awesome again yesterday and I was silent farting throughout the lesson,I honestly do not know what is wrong with my butt. And I farted out LOUD when someone was talking to me. Embarrassed? Yes.

Oh,and my class has this thing going on since Valentine Day is coming.We are suppose to draw someone's name from a bag and we are suppose to do something nice or give little gifts. I saw this post it and I had no idea what was going on. I looked under my table and found a packet of NERDS and a blue envelope with a heart shape attached to it,it was really sweet of the person. And today i received another post it and a Ferrero rocher. Haha,but I already know who was my secret valentine haha. It's someone who sat quite close to me.

I was also relatively shocked and surprised when Mr Yong read out my name for the full marks catergory for Emaths.I honestly lost faith in tests after multiple failures,all those talk about never giving up,sometimes I got sick of listening to it.From the last 2nd to getting full marks,not only I was joyful and surprised,I was filled with a kind of emotion which I don't know what word to use to describe it. The '' I didn't know I can do it too'' feeling popped up in me. A kind of achievement even though it's just a simple test.

Mr Kumar showed us a powerpoint presentation today which explains to us that 10% of your life is made up of what happens to you,90% is made up of how you react to it. I find it really true! Heres the link if you're interested to read!

Today I finally realised how little moments in life can make you learn something. Eccentric and weird,that was my perspective of that boy.I didn't look at him from another perspective like Suzanne did.I did not give myself a chance to understand him as a person.This little conversation really touched me.I asked him," how do you feel about your stepfather?" he replied without hesitation,"as long as my mum happy, I ok one lah." And at that moment, I turned my head away and blinked real hard to stop the tears. I didn't expect him to say those words at all.
It sounded like those drama serial in channel 8 but it happened in real life.Little moments like this really made me learnt a lot.

And also today drama sharing session,lots of emotions came back,happy times with the seniors,them teasing me,us getting scolded by the teachers during SYF,good old times indeed.Maybe it's not life thats bad,its me resenting life,convincing myself life was bad.I allow myself in drown in my own self-pityness,hoping to gain sympathy indirectly,hoping someone would save me from this misery.But in reality,no one can and no one will.Because the choice lies in me,unless I myself choose to step out of this own misery,no one can save me.

<3