Zimplicity;

I was shocked and surprised to see you back again. No warnings, nothing for me to be mentally prepared. I'm back to the self conscious me at that moment. As much as I anticipate their visit, I don't know why I felt joy and pain at the same time. No particular word to describe the emotion. I left early to hide. There were days where I spent thinking how nice it would be if all of us could go out again, like the old times. I tried to convince myself not to go but a part of me gave in to the persuasion . And furthermore, I didn't know when will be the next time all of us could meet like this again. I left even though I wanted to stay. I feel his efforts but I really didn't know how to react. I avoided his gazes, avoid making any eye contact. I can't even look at him in the eye. Guilt filled me and I keep telling myself I was tired that's why I left early.I tried to convince myself but no matter what happens, you can't lie to yourself. I hated the awkwardness. I hated the wall between us. Things can never go back to as it was, right?