Zimplicity;

I could have typed one long essay but sometimes are things you just feel like keeping to yourself,don't need to publicize to everyone. But yeah,since I'm already here,I shall just briefly explain.

I quit my job after 3 days.

18 hours of endurance.

I wanted to endure till January and I changed my mind,to the last day of December instead. Today was the last straw and poooof* and I quit like a boss. There's nothing to be proud of,really. Some people were really spot on.

I am required to top up stocks,arrange stocks,fill up water for rodents like guinea pigs and rabbits,clean up the shop and do bits and pieces of work. I seldom touch labor work even at home. I ADMIT I AM A PRINCESS AT HOME. My mum does all the chores and well,all I do is enjoy life at home. Like literally.

There is a big collie which I have no idea how to describe. He's 8 months old and like to bully me. For example,when I'm filling up water for the rodents,he would purposely block the door or lick my shoes,refusing to let me go out. He knows I'm scared. And I know he did it on purpose. Mean dog is mean. :(

Today I was required to fix and set up hamster cages and wrap them up. It was like a horror story,really. In sec 2,almost all the DNT work were done by my classmates. *coughs* And my DNT teacher would be like '' stupid girllllll.'' when he sees my work. I can't even drill a hole. I am serious.

I spent a long time figuring out how to fix the cages before my cheena co-worker came over and tell me to follow the picture on the box. I don't freaking own a hamster and no,I don't play with lego blocks or those fix your own toy house stuff when I was younger. IT IS A VERY HARD JOB FOR ME. Considering I really suck at these stuff.

I opened 1 box and I tried. Fix halfway. Fidget. Try try try. Pekceck. Move on to the next one and then nearly everything do halfway. It was blatantly obvious that I AM STRUGGLING.

And I was left to fend by myself.. I don't know how exactly to describe but.. 委屈 is written all over my face.

In work,there's no such thing as you can't do.
In work,there's no such thing as I don't know.
In work,there's no such thing as I help you.

Feeling all sorry for myself,I hid in the toilet and burst into tears.我很没有用的。Coming out,the very old uncle who was in charge of cleaning the cages and dogs was there playing with a very young puppy. I don't know if he saw my red eyes or knew I have been bawling inside. He was a very kind man,always smiling at me. He told me some details about the puppy and I carried the puppy. It felt good,the puppy was adorable and it can really make your heart melts. Its so tiny that you can't help but dote on it. It felt good,because I somehow feel the attempt to cheer me up,be it indirectly or with the intention to.

I hated the smell. I hated people giving me dirty looks and talking to me in that tone when I tried my best,more than whatever tests I tried in school. I hate carrying sacks of pet food up and down the staircase when someone with more strength could have easily done so. I hate being submissive to people and saying okay to every single shit.

And i quit.

I am like that. I hate being unhappy and forced to do the things I hate. 4 years ago,I quit dance ensemble because staying there didn't make me happy. Today,I did the same. It's not about determination or endurance anymore,it's about knowing your own limit.


My plan for Christmas eve? Maybe just nua at home and read my library books before it expires.

I still have the tendency of coming to you whenever I am vulnerable. Why?