You need to put in more fucking effort in your studies. Stop procrastinating till the last minute. Tonight I'm so angry with myself because I had all the time in the world to complete my tutorials but I left them till today. Urghhh grow up please ZhiLing and stop playing a fool.

Just some thoughts

Not watching my channel U show because I think I need some time with my own thoughts. I need to type them out, I need to read my own thoughts instead of letting them float around my head aimlessly, like some lost particles.

I wouldn't say I am depressed recently. Maybe I am, I don't know. I'm still trying to get used to this new phase of life. I seem to lost my enthusiasm for studies as though I had given up on myself. I know for many people, they get back up after failures and slowly get their way back to the so called route of success but this isn't what I want to do. It is relatively meaningless because I can't revert back to the past, can I?

I am trying to get used to new people but sometimes at night this very depth of loneliness just shoots straight up to my heart. We are so used to self-deception at times to the extent we believe it ourselves. Believe that things will be alright, believe that you will be happy.

I wake up sometimes asking myself, what is life? Please stop reading this if you find it boring or what cause this is just a way for me to release my bottled feelings. I hadn't got the guts to spill my inner thoughts to any of my close friends because I know how tired the JC people are and the poly people are trying to adapt themselves and move on in their lives too.

I met someone with an even more inferior complex than me and I secretly wondered how long will she take to get out of her trapped self. And then I look at myself , I saw the same mirror image staring back. I am trapped too.

When you are trapped physically, maybe there is a way out. But what happens when you're trapped mentally, who saves you?

I am so afraid I will mistaken someone's politeness and friendliness as affection just like how I did in 2010. I rather not take any risk.

Changes are always my greatest weakness. Not just adapting to the physical environment,but mentally accepting people.This,is my greatest challenge.It's like I have a barrier. I was so used to having HuiSin around me,it feels so secure,like nothing in life can ever go wrong. I was so used to having Jiawen to be stupid with,judging people and making the must stupid remarks. I was so used to having YunXuan in my secondary school life because I can be myself,I can complain all I want and be my flawed version and still gets accepted and loved and I don't know who will like this flawed me and I don't know why I'm typing this long ass post but I need so much acceptance in my heart right now. I need courage. I always hated loneliness and it is one feeling that kills me. It sort of killed me in upper secondary and I am so afraid I won't fit in well and I don't know.

I need so much time to analyze one's character and it's so hard for me to trust people.
Goodbye. 习惯，时间，接受。Part and parcel of life huh?

Carpenters and Cook

Went to Carpenters and Cook with Syafiqah yesterday and here are some photos as usual!

You seldom see me wear long pants because i find SG's weather too damn warm but I decided to go ahead yesterday because I'm wearing boots! This is only my second time wearing this in Singapore.

Life of an iphone addict. Do I look amused? I think I do.

The interior design is really nice. It's like they spent so much effort on creating a comfortable and sophisticated environment for the customers!

Look at all the pretty teacups! When I have my own house,I want to get vintage floral cutleries too! It makes a meal more enjoyable and appetising in my opinion.

A view of the pastries and cakes.

The ugly looking hot chocolate with a distorted heart shape on the top left corner is mine and so is the Lemon tart. It costs $12 altogether and I think the hot chocolate is reasonably priced but the tart is too expensive. It doesn't even taste that special in my opinion. It's just like tart with cream on top,like that only lor.

Iphone front camera like very suckish.

LOL reason why there's fingers around the lens is because Syafiqah's phone battery is gonna die and we used my phone's camera instead so she manually stuck her fishlens on my camera as my camera has no magnet to attach the fisheye lens. I'm not sure if you guys understand but whatever.

Sigh orientation next week and.......... I SUCK AT MAKING NEW FRIENDS.I think I will feel so lost without Jiawen and Huisin to help me out in my studies. I'm too dependent on friends in my seconday school life. D: What if I'm like the odd one out during orientation and everyone secretly hates me because I'm too annoying and keep asking them stupid questions? Oh god.

I LOVE MY DOUBLECHIN BYEBYE~~~