Just some thoughts

Not watching my channel U show because I think I need some time with my own thoughts. I need to type them out, I need to read my own thoughts instead of letting them float around my head aimlessly, like some lost particles.

I wouldn't say I am depressed recently. Maybe I am, I don't know. I'm still trying to get used to this new phase of life. I seem to lost my enthusiasm for studies as though I had given up on myself. I know for many people, they get back up after failures and slowly get their way back to the so called route of success but this isn't what I want to do. It is relatively meaningless because I can't revert back to the past, can I?

I am trying to get used to new people but sometimes at night this very depth of loneliness just shoots straight up to my heart. We are so used to self-deception at times to the extent we believe it ourselves. Believe that things will be alright, believe that you will be happy.

I wake up sometimes asking myself, what is life? Please stop reading this if you find it boring or what cause this is just a way for me to release my bottled feelings. I hadn't got the guts to spill my inner thoughts to any of my close friends because I know how tired the JC people are and the poly people are trying to adapt themselves and move on in their lives too.

I met someone with an even more inferior complex than me and I secretly wondered how long will she take to get out of her trapped self. And then I look at myself , I saw the same mirror image staring back. I am trapped too.

When you are trapped physically, maybe there is a way out. But what happens when you're trapped mentally, who saves you?