Little snippets of my life

I hadn't really bothered updating here. Dayre is so much more convenient but at the same time I hadn't really have the heart to delete this blog so I'm kind of trying to keep it alive for people who still read this space.

Right now it's 4 minutes to 12am and I'm taking my macroeconomics paper on Tuesday and I only revised 5 lectures today because I'm too restless and lazy today. Feel so worn out after two papers already. Just gotta survive for 3 more papers. :(

You probably saw them on Instagram or Dayre but whatever okay? Just see again lor. HAHAHA.

With my favorite cousin during Chinese New Year this year. The next time I'll see her is probably next year.

Note how I'm the only one wearing green while the rest wear blue? The color coordination was totally unplanned. My dress was supposed to be blue but the dress was spoilt and I changed it for a green one. If not can be matchy-matchy with the rest. :( Anyway this was taken when we went for steamboat during CNY period.

We had pork ribs soup and hot spicy soup as the base.

JianXing eating the chicken claws. Usually he really TALKS a lot but that day he really non-stop chewing and biting the food and it was unusually quiet and we teased him. '' wah usually you talk so much and there's endless chatter,today so quiet huh? *inserts smirk* Oh and I tried chicken claws and it's not that bad. It's actually yummy but a lot of bones which is irritating.

I can't wait for the next time we go out but it's probably going to be during June or maybe.. worst still,after PuayLin and JianXing's A levels and YunXuan's promos. Boohoo I'm the only one in poly now.

Oh we had a mini-celebration on the last day of year 1.

 

Our favorites from Dominoes. The pizza on top is da sex. The one beside the onion rings. Not the one near the phone. 

Here's a group picture of all of us.The one with the peace sign is Ah Young and she's Korean. We got to know her during the first semester for a module called Effective Writing Skills.It's was sort of like a farewell party for her because she's going back Korea for good to complete her university education.

 I can't imagine life without them next semester. Why must we split classes according to our specializations? Everyone picked hotel except for Huixian,Fatin and me. I'm not sure if I can get into resort as well but whatever lah. Get into MICE also not that bad. Hotel jiu hotel lor.

It took me a good 20 minutes to write this post but I think you all finish within 1/2 minutes right! 

Anyway I hope all my friends in JC(Liying,Saif,PuayLin,JianXing,JiaYing,Jiawen,HuiSin,SuanKheng) all do well for their A levels! Yeap a huge bunch of my friends are taking national exams this year!  I also hope Priya,Raj and YunXuan will do well for their Promos. And JinKheng and Quanen to survive army life! Oh and also Farah to do well for her O levels and Shahira 3rd year in poly to go smoothly! Okay that's about it I don't think I missed out anyone byebye!!

'' I asked some of my girl friends to be my Valentine and some of their reactions were really hilarious.''

*gives some examples*

''eh oh yeah.''
''will you be my valentine?''

LOL go fuck yourself or something. Last time you were embarrassed I rejected you so you make it sound like you aren't asking me for a date and this time round you tried to 给自己下台的机会 again. What the shit. What did I exactly see in him last April???!!!

I told Jun Yang about it and he was like if I accept,he will fuck me in my nose till I bleed. HAHAHA funny lah him. Go army humor level still very high,not bad.

Anyway the funniest thing is that a primary school friend,a super ''nerdy'' and intellectual one (she's in god damn Raffles Institution) got attached I think. I found out through Instagram. Bless social networks. And I told JX and some primary school friends about it and we were like '' wtf fml what are we doing with our lives'' reactions.

OH AND i saw this woman with her legs spread out on a man when I was in the mrt and they were at a park on a bench wtf.

This V day has gotta be the funniest.

Anyway Happy V Day to everyone/ LOL actually I don't feel anything! Aiya there's no need to be emotional over having a partner or not! All is well as long as you're healthy! HOHOHO

I have removed my blog link from my social media sites for sometime already because I don't want people I'm not close with to read this private space of mine because sometimes other than releasing my emotions on the internet,i have no other means to do so.

I've stopped crying as I am typing this. I always believed and hope things will get better but I hate this phase of my life so much. It feels like everything is standing still and life will remain stinky and stagnant forever.

I go to school and come back home a different person. In school,I say ridiculous things and make people laugh. Sometimes I go all quiet and refuse to talk,participating in conversations only when I feel like it. I try my best to pay attention in class because everyone around me is so conscientious and I don't want to lose out. But then I know I have no motivation and what I'm doing is pretending. Pretending like how I always did in upper sec. Pretending and hoping maybe I will be motivated too. Sometimes in my mind all I wanted to do is to just go home and lie down on my bed and think about nothing.

When school ends,I go home and nap. That is my proper sleep time because I feel be so fucking tired I can't think of anything. And then use my phone and use and use and use and use. Sometimes I do my tutorial. And I continue using my phone till 1 am or 2am. Because I can't sleep with so many things weighing down on my mind.

I wonder if anyone know how it feels to shrivel and feel your soul dying away.

“What doesn’t kill you
leaves scars
ruins your lungs
dries out all your tears
leaves you lying awake at 4 in the morning
wishing you weren’t alive.”

—

C.C

Don't tell me stupid things to cheer up or some bull-crap after reading this. You don't know things I've been through so just mind your own business and leave me alone. I know very well I am not a very rationale person and I use a lot of my emotions to handle things. I am still in the midst of changing that and I don't need anyone to tell me so.

How is it
 you'll lose something
you never had?

Maybe all I had
was memories I made up.

A mix between
reality and fantasy
becoming
blurred lines

Till reality consumed
me in my dreams
and i woke up

step lang leav hahahah