You need to put in more fucking effort in your studies. Stop procrastinating till the last minute. Tonight I'm so angry with myself because I had all the time in the world to complete my tutorials but I left them till today. Urghhh grow up please ZhiLing and stop playing a fool.

Just some thoughts

Not watching my channel U show because I think I need some time with my own thoughts. I need to type them out, I need to read my own thoughts instead of letting them float around my head aimlessly, like some lost particles.

I wouldn't say I am depressed recently. Maybe I am, I don't know. I'm still trying to get used to this new phase of life. I seem to lost my enthusiasm for studies as though I had given up on myself. I know for many people, they get back up after failures and slowly get their way back to the so called route of success but this isn't what I want to do. It is relatively meaningless because I can't revert back to the past, can I?

I am trying to get used to new people but sometimes at night this very depth of loneliness just shoots straight up to my heart. We are so used to self-deception at times to the extent we believe it ourselves. Believe that things will be alright, believe that you will be happy.

I wake up sometimes asking myself, what is life? Please stop reading this if you find it boring or what cause this is just a way for me to release my bottled feelings. I hadn't got the guts to spill my inner thoughts to any of my close friends because I know how tired the JC people are and the poly people are trying to adapt themselves and move on in their lives too.

I met someone with an even more inferior complex than me and I secretly wondered how long will she take to get out of her trapped self. And then I look at myself , I saw the same mirror image staring back. I am trapped too.

When you are trapped physically, maybe there is a way out. But what happens when you're trapped mentally, who saves you?

I am so afraid I will mistaken someone's politeness and friendliness as affection just like how I did in 2010. I rather not take any risk.

Changes are always my greatest weakness. Not just adapting to the physical environment,but mentally accepting people.This,is my greatest challenge.It's like I have a barrier. I was so used to having HuiSin around me,it feels so secure,like nothing in life can ever go wrong. I was so used to having Jiawen to be stupid with,judging people and making the must stupid remarks. I was so used to having YunXuan in my secondary school life because I can be myself,I can complain all I want and be my flawed version and still gets accepted and loved and I don't know who will like this flawed me and I don't know why I'm typing this long ass post but I need so much acceptance in my heart right now. I need courage. I always hated loneliness and it is one feeling that kills me. It sort of killed me in upper secondary and I am so afraid I won't fit in well and I don't know.

I need so much time to analyze one's character and it's so hard for me to trust people.
Goodbye. 习惯，时间，接受。Part and parcel of life huh?

Carpenters and Cook

Went to Carpenters and Cook with Syafiqah yesterday and here are some photos as usual!

You seldom see me wear long pants because i find SG's weather too damn warm but I decided to go ahead yesterday because I'm wearing boots! This is only my second time wearing this in Singapore.

Life of an iphone addict. Do I look amused? I think I do.

The interior design is really nice. It's like they spent so much effort on creating a comfortable and sophisticated environment for the customers!

Look at all the pretty teacups! When I have my own house,I want to get vintage floral cutleries too! It makes a meal more enjoyable and appetising in my opinion.

A view of the pastries and cakes.

The ugly looking hot chocolate with a distorted heart shape on the top left corner is mine and so is the Lemon tart. It costs $12 altogether and I think the hot chocolate is reasonably priced but the tart is too expensive. It doesn't even taste that special in my opinion. It's just like tart with cream on top,like that only lor.

Iphone front camera like very suckish.

LOL reason why there's fingers around the lens is because Syafiqah's phone battery is gonna die and we used my phone's camera instead so she manually stuck her fishlens on my camera as my camera has no magnet to attach the fisheye lens. I'm not sure if you guys understand but whatever.

Sigh orientation next week and.......... I SUCK AT MAKING NEW FRIENDS.I think I will feel so lost without Jiawen and Huisin to help me out in my studies. I'm too dependent on friends in my seconday school life. D: What if I'm like the odd one out during orientation and everyone secretly hates me because I'm too annoying and keep asking them stupid questions? Oh god.

I LOVE MY DOUBLECHIN BYEBYE~~~

On a Thursday,in a cafe.

Syafiqah and I intially wanted to visit another cafe at first but it was closed and it started raining so we went to this cafe named Habitat Coffee instead.I swear we look damn retarded running to the bus stop for shelter and I hollered,'' EH HURRY LEH. RAIN LIAO LEH.''

 

Cute little signboard outside the cafe. 

This is a really cool handmade queue number. It even has a quote on it,''Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.''

Look at the container they used to hold their utensils! Isn't it so vintage looking?

This is the Caramel Coffee which I ordered. It comes with a cute little biscuit.

Sipping my cup of coffee. BLISSFUL.

This is actually my lunch. It's called Cheesynara,I have no idea what that means though but it's really one of the best pasta I've eaten. The sauce is like cheesy and it has sausage and bacon in it too. The chef is really generous with his ingredients. Pastamania should feel ashamed. LOL. Although it is a little pricey but I think it's really worth it for the ambiance in the cafe. Just like what the name of the cafe suggests,it really feels like home.

Syafiqah ordered hot chocolate and tiramisu and I find her hot chocolate so cute! Maybe I shall order that when I visit it next time!

One of the art piece on the wall. It reminds me of us,human beings. A lot of us hold this fierce independent front but deep down,we are just as vulnerable like any other people.

''Down the stairs,I was there. I remember it all too well.'' HAHAHAH made use of Taylor's lyrics in All Too Well in this photo.

One of my favorite photo taken yesterday. Credits to Syafiqah. Double click on her name to pay her blog a visit!

The woman behind me spoil my artsy photo. The woman with the bag in the earlier picture too. SPOILER MAN. -.- Anyway,I really like this outfit of mine. They are actually two separate pieces. I tucked my top into my flowy pants.Their shades are really similar too so its like a monochrome colour block. I took this chance to jazz up my top with my statement necklace which I seldom get the chance to wear as my tops are usually too ''busy-looking'' to match it with.

 Taken with the fish eye effect using one of the photography app in my iphone. LOL I LOOK CUTE ANNOT? Syafiqah set it as contact picture in her phone HAHAHHA.

Taken in the cafe.It would have been a nice photo if the front camera quality weren't so shitty. :(

I wanted to post this on Instagram initially but Instagram kept failing me so in the end i just post a solo photo instead of a collage.

I know my blogpost is kind of boring with just photos and captions,sorry. A lot of photos are actually posted before on Instagram so if you like, you may follow me on @xxzhilingxx for live updates. I'm actually a pretty lazy person so I seldom blog with photographs unless I'm really in the mood.

If you have any messages/comments/questions for me,feel free to communicate with me via
http://ask.fm/xxZhiLingxx

April is approaching,can't believe 1/4 of the year is gone just like that. Have a great weekend ahead!:)

Rants and pet peeves

Today I will be sharing with all of you some of my pet peeves.

This is from wikipedia :

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it.Pet peeves often involve specific behaviors of someone close, such as a spouse or significant other.These behaviors may involve disrespect, manners, personal hygiene, relationships, and family issues.A key aspect of a pet peeve is that it may well seem acceptable to others.

1. Saying that you're ugly over again and again

Like c'mon,what do you expect me to do? The only thing I could do is say,no you're not honey and give you some reassurance. I have this experience whereby I'm so pissed off to the extent that I told the person to get plastic surgery if she's really that unhappy about her looks.I might seems harsh but this is really annoying to me. I mean looks although are an important asset to a female but if you cling on to the belief you are ugly,what can I do?

2.Having no sense of originality
Imagine you're a designer. You designed this really great piece of artwork and another designer just take your design and passes it off as his or her own,changing like 10% of your work. How would you feel? Probably feel like scolding the person fuck you and suing him or her for stealing your hard work right?

3.Canceling dates or changing the dates the night before
This has probably happened to each and every single one of you before. If not,sooner or later in your life. I simply hate it when people cancel dates. I know sometimes its inevitable because the person might have something on at the last moment which is acceptable but when its a juvenile excuse like come on,I have been anticipating to so called hang out with you and you shifted the date due to some stupid reasons?? Like you very important is it,people must cater to your needs ah? At least respect the person and inform in advance instead of doing so at the last minute. He or she might have cancelled plans for YOU.

4.3's a crowd 
I mean like yeah you asked me out,and you're talking all the way with another friend. Can't you tell I'm really quiet and try to include me in the conversation? ARE YOU THAT TACTLESS? Am I like some second hand goods for you to talk to when the other party's saliva has run out??? I might as well go out alone right?
And also,going off with another friend when we are going out as a group. Bloody hell am I some animal for you to abandon? Thanks for making me feel unimportant uh. ARE YOU THAT TACTLESS?

5. Using poverty as an excuse not to go out
I would suggest,robbing a bank or stabbing someone in the heart so you can go to jail and get free food and lodging for the rest of your life.