I'm so tired mentally and physically recently.I wished I still have that inner motivation to push me on at times.I really wonder how some people do it. Maybe I'm just not strong enough.There are times when teachers could talk and I could just be sitting down there,panicking inside. I could hear words but nothing is processing internally.These 1 year plus still seems like hell to me. Loneliness overwhelm? Perhaps.
Sometimes I miss the times when I feel secure socially. When I could fit in and never feel socially awkward. Or even scared. I'm supposed to be studying now but somehow I feel like blogging. Keeping it all inside is so suffocating. I want to graduate but guess what? This process seems harder than I thought it would be. Am I not putting in enough effort? Or is it my intelligence is limited? I feel like I'm stupid and at times when I completely believe that fact, I feel like a complete loser. Really.
I feel like I'm talking to myself but that's okay.
That's what blogs are meant for.
Contrary to the picture,I am not a sophisticated person. I am a clumsy dwarf and my English is often ridiculed in real life. Thank god for internet.
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