Sometimes I really hate it when meaningless thoughts bombard me during this hour at night. Reflecting on my own life,I really wonder if I have live my life to the fullest so far. It scares me that the answer is actually NO. Anytime,any day, we can just leave this world. It scares me. It really does.
I hate the fact I'm not working hard enough.I simply can't find the motivation or determination to.I can't really see where I'm heading to in life. It feels like I'm running other people's race.It feels like I'm trying to survive in a society whereby money and career successes is highly emphasized and I hate that. I really do.
One of human's greatest flaws is to compare oneself with others.I too,have that flaw.It's that one deadly flaw that kills what little self-esteem we have inside.Comparing wealth,comparing looks,comparing intellect. When we grow up, we compare our other halfs. We compare the type of houses we live in,compare our salaries,compare our kid's grades.It goes on and on and on.
I wish those insecurities would go away.
Contrary to the picture,I am not a sophisticated person. I am a clumsy dwarf and my English is often ridiculed in real life. Thank god for internet.
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