Mixed feelings.
I tried to push it away,tried to reject him again and again but I failed.
Could my coach actually be correct?I'm escaping cause I don't want the stress and responsibility.
I really don't like adding stress to myself.Because I know how it feels like to break into tiny pieces.I don't like committing to things when I know I can't.What should I do? :(
Be brave and accept,bring myself loads of stress or be a coward and reject but stay happy?I am scared.Don't know which direction to take.
I hide in the toilet for a long time just now during school.
You see it as giving me a chance,a chance to step out,a chance to shine,a chance to change.
I see it as adding more stress,taking away my happiness.
Brendon was playing with my pony tail today,darn,i know I'm short okay.I WAS LIKE''NO EYES AHAHHAHA''.Then after that little episode with my coach,my mood gone all low and moody.No mood talk at all. ''Eh why you so emo.'' ''nothing lah.''
Obviously nothing.Cause if i continue talking i might cry.
Remembered last August?
Fuck scary.Don't want the same thing to happen.
Yes I am afraid of how people judge me.
Yes I am scared to ruin the entire thing.
Yes I don't like the words stress and responsibility.
Someone tell me what to do.
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