Zimplicity;

Who are you?

It's a difficult question to answer.Because it has far too many answers because you play too many roles in life.

I ask myself this question.

My answer is I still don't know who I am in life.

I'm a sister to my younger brother,a friend to my friends,a daughter to my parents,a senior to my juniors,a student to the society,a secretary to my drama club.

Who am I currently?

I'm an insecure girl,who gets upset and angry easily.I like complaining about life and I'm pretty pessimistic.I'm sensitive and I get bored easily.I worry too much and I have this tendency to fear whatever I do.I pick on my own flaws too easily.

But I'm also the same girl who'll be there for her friends no matter what,the same girl who thinks encouragement and friendship is a beautiful thing,the same girl who thinks that this world is still beautiful despite the darkness,the struggles we face in our daily lives.

I'm trying to be a better person,I'm trying to be a better friend.I'm trying to be a better senior.I'm trying to be a better me.

“Nobody knows the feeling unless you actually have it. The fight with yourself every morning to get out of bed. The mental breakdowns you randomly have. The dark thoughts. The absolutely no motivation to do anything. The laying in bed all day. The anxiety and panic attacks. The no focus. The silent screams and hot tears. The anger. The feeling of helplessness. The feeling of depression.”

I can't really say I had attained happiness,but I'm trying.
Sometimes I feel like hypnotist, hypnotising myself to be happy and hyper.
Perhaps I do seem hyper on the surface,it's actually a way to make myself happy.

I think I know why I broke down on Monday,crying and laughing.I was hyper-ing,trying to make myself laugh.I laughed.. before realising how pathetic I was.And then I felt even more pathetic for drowning in my self-pityness.So I cried even harder.

Proud of myself for surviving this week.
Leo club I and I skit tomorrow.
I hope we will do well.