Today I was awaken by some crying and screaming from neighbours above. Apparently she have depression and she would do this once in a while. -_- It is agonizing to hear her scream and cry like that and a very bad thought came to me,for god's sake just jump down and shut the fuck up,and of course I don't mean it.
我很痛苦。我很想死。Words I heard from her that aren't really meant for normal beings I suppose. You know it really set me thinking,what's the point of living if you're so miserable? And maybe it was hard for her. Sometimes the more you tell people,the lonelier you feel.Because you'll realize sometimes no one will gives a shit.She makes me think about my mother. Sometimes she is so angry and unhappy it makes me almost hard to breathe in the same house as her.
Recently I've been doing a report on suicide and sad to say it seems like the easiest way out but I won't ever ever ever do it no matter how tempting it gets because it will pain people and bringing pain to people is the last thing I never wanted to do.
Why do we tie up ourselves and beat ourselves up
Why do we expect things of people despite knowing there will be disappointments
How is it that some people are willing to put in effort for certain individuals but yet see no results
Why can't
ok i was feeling emo just now and I'm feeling better now bye.
Contrary to the picture,I am not a sophisticated person. I am a clumsy dwarf and my English is often ridiculed in real life. Thank god for internet.
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